Things I never thought I’d do as a mum
Two years into motherhood I’ve come to realise that my pre-parent days were spent wandering around in a state of ignorant bliss about what being a mummy or daddy actually involved.
I looked at the parents around me and, to put it bluntly, I judged them.
|Yes, that’s my child in ASDA with no shoes on|
Why did they let their kids act like that? You’d never catch me walking the supermarket aisles without make up! Can’t they just shut that child up?
I wince at a lot of the things that used to cross my mind.
Now, after two years of sleep deprivation, toddler harassment and narrowly avoiding breakdowns in the middle of Asda I can reflect on how naive I was when I thought there were things I’d never do as a mum. Here’s a few of them:
How on earth I thought I could get a toddler round a supermarket without them wanting the chomp on some of the lovely food that they were walking by I’ll never know. However, I always thought it was a bit cheeky when I saw parents feeding their kids food that hadn’t yet been through the till. Yeah well, we do that a lot now!
The zombie mum look
I’ve waved goodbye to the days when I laboured over my makeup and outfit, even if I was just popping to the corner shop. So what if I haven’t washed my hair today and my underwear doesn’t match? I’m lucky if I haven’t got Tin Box Tot’s or my own breakfast dribbled down my front.
Using the telly nanny
This one still makes me die a little inside – especially when I see the blank look on Tin Box Tot’s face as she watches Postman Pat – but putting her in front of the telly box gives me the time I need to get a load in the washing machine and grab everything we need for a morning out. Damn you TV for being so helpful!
Worrying about keeping up with other mums
I can pretend that seeing other kids Tin Box Tot’s age already potty trained, wearing immaculate and coordinated outfits, or reciting the colours of the rainbow doesn’t bother me, but it does. I know its wrong to put pressure on yourself based on what everyone else is doing, but now I am a mum, with all the ‘mummy guilt’ stuff that seems to come with the job, I can’t help it.
When you don’t have kids, trolley watching is almost as good as people watching: ‘Look at that; would you believe what they are eating this week? And they’ve got children. Tisk!’. The fact is convenience food is every parents’ friend. If it’s not for the Tot, it’s for me and Mr Tin Box. Some nights popping a pizza in the oven is as much as we can manage.
Now I am a mum I can see that none of these things are the end of the world – or at least they haven’t resulted in the apocalypse yet! In fact, having a good excuse to leave the house not sporting the ‘just from the salon’ look is a bit of a relief some days.
What did you promise yourself you’d never do when you became a parent?
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