My 5 irrational labour worries
You won’t find me writing many posts about pregnancy and labour – it’s not really my genre – but something tickled me this week so I thought I’d share it.
When I was expecting Tin Box Tot I remember feeling lots of anxieties about childbirth. Would I be able to bear the pain? Would we get to hospital in time? And would I know what to do when my baby was put in my arms for the first time?
All reasonable things to worry about. However, this week I was chatting to some other expectant mums and it gave me flashbacks to a few of the more irrational things that crossed my mind towards the end of my first pregnancy.
I thought I’d share them for giggles:
Would I have time to shave my legs before I needed to go to hospital?
I don’t know who I thought I was going to meet on the maternity ward, but I was worried about being caught with prickly thighs.
How would I shield my modesty?
How would I shield my modesty?
Pah! How silly I was to think I’d care who was inspecting ‘down there’ 30 hours after my waters had broken?! If they could help me push out my baby they were welcome to take a look.
How would I know how to push?
I’m not sure what spare muscles I thought I would discover when I was required to push with my nether parts but I remember wondering about it. Of course the reality is that you push with the same bits that you use whenever you have something to expel from that region. Which brings me on to…
Would I poo?
I have no idea if I did. Mr Tin Box has blanked the whole ‘extra stuff coming out’ bit from his memory and the midwives do an amazing job of keeping everything tidy, so I’ll never know. But when you get to the crunch, this is the last thing on your mind.
Would I have time to reapply make-up in between contractions?
I blame One Born Every Minute for this brain fart. You see far too many ladies in labour on TV plastered in make up. In reality, we all just end up looking like red, sweaty blobs – and that’s OK!
I can laugh about all this now that I’m an old hand at this pregnancy malarkey. On the flip side, I can understand why these niggles popped into my head in the first place. Child birth is the least glamorous thing I’ve ever had to do. But my word, it’s all worth it!
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It is liberating, isn't it 🙂 Good luck for Baby 2!! x
Ah, forward planning. I like it 🙂 x
LOL! Even now, I'm too scared to ask the poo question 🙂 x
Haha! This made me chuckle. I'm due baby #2 in a fortnights time and can honestly say that I'm not worrying about a single one of them this time around 🙂
Kirsty @ Talking 'Bout My Girls
I worried about the poo and the shaved legs too heh. I guess one good thing about having to be induced meant I could show up at the hospital freshly groomed lol. This post is awesome, thanks for sharing these.
Julie @ Velvet-rose.net
Brilliant!! I can't say I even wondered about make up…or did I? I probably have put this 'brain fart' (love it!) out of my mind 😉 As for the poo thing, you're lucky your husband is so kind is all I say!
Thanks for linking up to #Thelist xx
Ha! This made me laugh. The hair and beauty birthing plans must be the first to go out the window 🙂 x
Im sure they didn't care. The things they must see!! 🙂
Plausable deniability…if it works for the White House it can work for us 🙂 x
Love it! Who needs a birth plan – it all goes out the window when you get down to the crunch 🙂 x
That's dedication to the irrational cause! 😉 x
My mind went blank too 🙂 Thank you for hosting! X
Lol! Childbirth – the answer to shyness 😉
Ha ha I love this post – I think I thought the same things and it's funny how on the day you just don't care! I even planned how I was going to have my hair and make up so that it 'lasted the distance' – yeah right! I had unshaven legs, the day before's make up and I couldn't care less who saw what when the time came 🙂 Brilliant post 🙂 Mim @ mamamim.com
I worried about poo too – no need as emergency section where as I hadn't done my bikini line in a while because of the fact I couldn't see it – GOT SHAVED FOR ME. Wow, I had blanked that from my memory that just came rushing back!
The second time around I was sat on my bed trying to straighten my hair while having contractions 3 minutes apart. I thought I could try and look presentable this time around but that didn't happen. And I'm sure I pooed too but thankfully nobody's told me #mummymonday
haha it is funny what we worry about isn't it? With LM arriving early I didn't have a chance to shave my legs this time and I was mortified though I don't think any of the staff cared a bit, I am sure they've seen it all before! Thanks for linking with #MaternityMondays
I must admit, I shaved my legs whilst in labour at home. Pahaha, what an idiot!
#TheList
Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx
The last one made me laugh! I am sure that the people going on OBEM must think we are there to see what they look like! I do remember being a little concerned about the poo one – I didn't really care once I was in labour though! Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo
I love the one about protecting modesty – three kids later and I don't care who has a look now!! #pocolo
Aww, I'm sure your midwife didn't mind. She's bond to have seen much worse! Good luck with the next six weeks of preparations 🙂
I ended up being induced 3 weeks early with my eldest, I had planned a big body tidy up 2 weeks before I was due but ended up giving birth suddenly with hairy legs and bikini line that really needed help, I kept apologising to the midwife as I felt awful, sent hubby to the shop so I could tidy up before going to the ward with my legs out!! not what I had planned to do immediately after birth!! So this time I will be keeping myself prepared-6 weeks to go now…
Thank you! That's one way to avoid it 🙂
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Aww, that was a bit unfair to share with you. I much prefer to be able to deny it ever happened…what you don't know can't embarrass you 😉
hehehe! Great post! I was so terrified of pooing too but ended up having a c-section.
Glad it's not just me 🙂 Maybe we just do it as a distraction from the really nasty stuff?! 🙂
Path! Why would we worry about that?! We love the 'ring of fire' sensation 😉
That's serious dedication to pre-birth grooming. Good effort 😉
I was always worried about the poo! And I even got a bikini wax before my due date! Ha ha! But needn't of worried… as I ended up having an emergency C-Section. So next time, I will still have all the irrational fears that you list above!
Haha, good post. I personally didn't have any of these worries, but I know the missus did 🙂 Funny how it is the little things that are worried about rather than the 'pushing a head out of your vagina' thing.
Love this – I was totally hung up on the need to shave my legs each time! #PoCoLo
When my OBGyne who helped me with giving birth told me that I havent really taking my iron supplement I thought how did she know? She saw my poo =( I pooed when I gave birth. And after that I cant look my OBgyne in the eye. #pocolo